Finale Part 1

Ok deeeeeesignahs, you are in for the finale. Wait, you are ALMOST in, we are going to (hopefully) kick someone off before a final twist (I'm sure) and then the Final Runway Show.

What a waste of my time.Raise your hand if you DIDN’T think they were going to keep all 4 after all? I thought so from the first moment, but then what about when Tim did the home visits and Anya hadn’t sewn one item to show Tim? Who are we kidding? It was only going to be 3 designers if someone besides Anya or Josh had failed in their looks worse than them.

I do actually like the home visits. It’s nice to see the designers in their home element; they always look healthier and happier at home. Interesting that all of them had a “death” story to tell. See Josh, you are not the only one with sadness.

The thing I will say about this episode, the judging was the best it has been all season. This season, the

judges have been so catty and mean and contradicting at every turn. It has really turned me off of the show,

among their choices for favorites and un-favorites. This night, they really seemed to be giving honest critique to them about what they did and didn’t like. I hope the designers are smart and take their advice

seriously.

The obvious front runner was Viktor.

How cool was the gasps when he took that leather jacket out? I agree, his zippered outer skirt was too much with the top, I think he will listen and not have them together on the runway. The judges critiques were mostly nitpicky, but will only help him when it counts. Out of this final group, he is my favorite. He may be the one to beat in the final runway show, unless he just does too much technique.

Josh’s looks were kind of weird, but I knew the judges were going to think it was enough to keep him. The black cocktail dress was so lame, I don’t know why he chose this to show for his mini collection, except maybe to prove that his whole collection is not filled with the cray cray. I just don't see anything very amazing or fashion forward here. It will also be interesting to see how much he listened to Tim for his final collection.

I like the direction Kimberly was going with her looks, well except that pink skirt. God that pink skirt. I don’t mind the bubble butt, in fact I’m totally down with it, but the front! The front makes me cry. It was so weird and disproportionate and yikes. Honey can we get rid of that thing or what? I liked where she was going with the styling, the judges are just haters. I can’t wait to see all of her looks together. I’m glad she made it. Let's face it, there have been quite a few black designers in the finals, but none have won. If you look in the fashion world, there is still not much diversity, period.

Anya’s collection. I don’t care what anyone says, this is straight up crack smoking that got her to the finals. If they were going to send all 4, which they were, then why waste the time? Listen, if any one else had sent that gold dress down the runway, in any challenge, they would have been laughed off the stage. Do you hear me? It's ill fitting, sewn terribly and has no interesting design. It's a disgrace. Ok the print dress is cute, but what is it without that belt cinching it all in? The bathing suit was so unflattering I couldn’t handle it.

That. Gold. Dress. Get it out of my sight!

This season has been a joke. It's now a reality show with some sewing. I won't be blogging about the show again after this season. Last season we could see it was really falling apart, but there was some good work making it down the runway. I loved Mondo, but the judges were so fixated on Gretchen they couldn't even see his work. Which all in all was fine, he wasn't stuck with all the rules that come with winning the prize. However we could already tell the show was doing bad, I don't think I even finished blogging last season.

I was willing to give it another chance because it is one of my absolute favorite shows, I really enjoy watching Tim Gunn interact with the designers. When the judges give good critiquing, they are also great. Sometimes you would get a fun guest judge or challenge and it's so fun. This season we didn't get really any of that. The difference between the bottom and top looks were so minuscule the judges were making up stuff to justify what they were doing. It seemed like the producers have had a heavy hand in who went home and who stayed. The challenges were just strange and I have barely been watching each episode.

Do I care who wins the whole thing? At this point, no. I'd like to see it be Kimberly or Viktor, but it won't be shocking if neither of them wins. Be prepared for them to have to make a last look this week, they almost always have to.

Am I going to watch Project Runway All Stars? Most definitely, it will be great to see designers that can actually produce great work. I won't need to be that invested, because if these designers aren't doing well by now, it's their own fault, not the judges this time.

Project Runway, I'm sorry but you're Out.

Sew 70's

Sew 70's: As in, judges are back to their regularly scheduled program of crack smoking.

I know! The designers did so bad making 60's and 70's clothes, let's make them make 70's clothes and make them Modern and Chic! Do you think they have the cognitive capacity and know-how to make this happen? Answer: The producers are asking these questions so I'm assuming the answer is "No" so they can have what they want-more drama and tragedy on the runway. Sure, they probably plan out the challenges and guest judges much before they do them, but that doesn't mean they don't switch the order around for better TV.

I don't have much to say about this one, so let's get our pipes ready....

This boring maxi dress by Anya won. Oh Anya, you're so amazing with prints, you really know how to dress a woman: blah blah blah. Congrats Anya, you're beautiful and you can design clothes. I suppose I'm just being a hater.

Wait, I forgot this is a jumper so those are pants. Nope, I'm not impressed. That and this was sold for $198 on Piperlime.com and is already sold out.

Here's Heidi showing her Anya-love. Heidi is showing that model how to WORK!

.....I just don't trust Anya.....

Plus I do feel honestly that the judges are giving Anya leeway on her designs, knowing her sewing skills are not up to par.

"Anya, this concerns me"

"Don't worry Tim, I got this. The judges eat up whatever I put on that runway. Smize!"

In another double win: Bert also won.

Who knew the old dog had it in him? He's just biding his time while the other designers bicker and freak out and he may just calmly walk into the finals. Who knows?

This still bores me.

Viktor robbed again. This outfit looked better without the jacket and the pants are not a particularly flattering cut, but overall he had the best look. Once again.

I guess they gave up on doing anything with the models on this show? I don't really mind, but Viktor really needs to get rid of this model, I think she's hurting his chances.

Image is Everything

I love Adam Lambert but I don't think he added anything to this challenge. Good idea but I don't remember anything profound.

Also, how much do you wish that Seth Aaron had done this challenge?

Let's Carry On....

The previous week the designers were tricked into thinking they had to design menswear.

Surprise!

This challenge they really did have to do menswear.

The designers watch The Sheepdogs, aka Most Patient Band Ever, perform their Creedence style music and talk about what they like to wear. The designers are split into two "teams" of four, with each band member covered by one designer on each team for a total of two super groovy outfits. Tim tells them it is not a team challenge in the sense that there needs to be cohesion, yet they still have to come up with a team name. To recap: Menswear, guys who like the 70's, teams that are not teams and more menswear which the designers hate.

The band members were so sweet, they really did have to be pretty involved; consultations, fittings and Garnier Fructis ads for two designers. They all handled it with a sense of humor and put up with a lot of personality and hideous clothing. Let's see how they designed their band member, shall we?

Band Member: Leot

Top: Laura

Bottom: Viktor

At top here we have blood spatter alley and wannabe cool guy. It's obvious the designers failed all around on this challenge. However these two were pretty good. Yes, Laura's was on the feminine side, but I liked that it kind of looked bloody, it made a little more rock and roll compared to the other cheesy hippie vibe looks. Viktor was the winner, and that was good to see.

Team Untitled: 1

Team Harmony: 0

Band member: Ryan

Top: Anthony Ryan

Bottom: Joshua

Interesting that the pants look the same, except as we know Josh's look has the look at my crotch zipper. Anthony Ryan's shirt hurts my eyes and there's so much going on with Josh's look, it's actually helping that the eyes are drawn to the zipper. Joshua wins this round.

Team Untitled: 2

Team Harmony: 0

Band member: Sam

Top: Kimberly

Bottom: Anya

At Top, Shaggy. Underneath, Pocahontas. I guess if I have to choose one, I'm going with Kimberly's.

Team Untitled: 3

Team Harmony: 0

Band member: Ewan

Top: Bert

Bottom: Olivier

At Top, sassy viking. Underneath butch wallpaper. Bert easily wins this round. He was the only one that did good on the top, not trying to make a fem button up with a sad collar. I also liked his pants. Overall not good, but in comparison to the others, I give it a pass.

Team Untitled: 3

Team Harmony: 1

So, if this had been a team challenge, Team Untitled probably would have won with the judges and Olivier would have been saved. That would have put Team Harmony on the chopping block and Anya in danger of the auf. I say danger because although she had the worst design, I don't see the judges sending her home unless she commits a horrible crime against boobs and Heidi cries.

I have a lot of questions running through my mind:
Why did they think fringe was going to be cool?
Why can't the guys make better menswear? Do they not make clothes for themselves?
Did the band members have a contract that made them do the show? Or did they think it was going to be something different than it turned out to be?

Oh sweetie.

Here is Olivier with the only models he can handle. They can't talk, they don't have breasts or hips, they are not tall or large and they don't have personalities.

I was never an Olivier fan. His accent confused me, it changed so often. I didn't like his clothes; they were sad colors, sad shapes and always had strange folds. No thank you Olivier, stick with the dummies-literally.

What Women Want

Lifetime named this "What Women Want", when it should have been called "Duh Moments in Life: Men Love Boobs"

In this episode, the designers are tricked into thinking they are going to be doing menswear, when TWIST, they are going to design for the man's lady- based on their ideas of what their lady likes. Luckily, they get the women's measurements from some other source besides the menfolk, because according to them, they all have huge racks.

The women are added to the mix later, which only makes it harder for the designers, especially Olivier, who probably has nightmares from the movie title "Real Women Have Curves". The challenge with working with a client is walking the fine line between Designer and Dress Maker. As Michael will surely point out numerous times, it's not "Project Dressmaker". Some people are naturally better working with clients, and I have no doubt there are some famous designers that are no better at working with people than some of our PR contestants. (Thankfully Oliviers' clients gave him a good pep talk to get him through)

After a lot of talk about boobs, boobs, boobs (this time not from Heidi...yet), we make it to the runway for this week's crack smoking by the judges.

Granted, when the looks come out on the runway each week, it's getting harder and harder to decipher who is going to be in the Top and who is going to be on the Bottom. We have to just rely on who the judges feel like picking on that week, and who they can praise for doing possibly nothing more than someone else to win. As in the case this episode. I'm not sure it would do much good to show all 9 designs, as they all look like a basic dress or basic top with basic skirt.

Here is the Winning design and ShouldHaveWonDesign:

Winning look by Josh:

Granted, this is a very chic dress, with some subtle detailing that looks good. It helps that the woman wearing it looks about model proportions and the bright shoes to compliment were a smart idea.

I'm not saying it's bad by any means, it's quite cute. I'm just thinking it really is a LBD on a thin blond with cute shoes from the PiperLime.com wall. Where's the innovation the judges used to expect, even demand?

Viktor's look which was a close Second

Here's

where I feel a little crack was involved. Here Viktor worked really well with his clients, put together an overall cute look for her, and made something that was just a little bit different, and you could tell fit with her personality. I loved the clutch he put with it, and how much she owned the look. Yeah, I'm not crazy about the necklace with it, but they do have to use the accessory wall, do they not? Viktor is always the bridesmaid....

Anya's look

I don't know why, but I just don't like this. Kudos to the bold statement and doing something different. She is also very smart to not do something too intricate and tailored to offset her non-sewing skills. The print is memorable and again, she can MacGuyver around the fact that there was probably not much sewing involved in this look. I hate the one sleeve on this. I don't feel like this was praiseworthy, just safe.

Bryce, sorry you're Out.

Well, it seems the emotional designers are dropping like flies. Bryce was just trying to skate by the first few weeks just to be safe, not a winner and definitely not wanting to be a loser. Unfortunately he didn't give the judges a good view on who he is as a designer.

For this challenge, he made a dress that his client wanted, and worked with a color outside of his comfort zone. The judges thought it had too many design elements. That's the crack smoking, because then how is Anya's dress not too many elements? If it's too plain, how about the safe looks and even the winning look?

I'm not going to argue for him to stay. It's a perfectly boring look that, unfortunately, he's done too many times.

Dahlings...what is one of Tim's best advice lines?

Don't. Bore. Nina.

Sigh. I'm barely watching this season, it doesn't seem to have that thing- that je ne sais quoi it's had in the past. Who to root for? It's also really anyone's game to win or lose this season, which is one of things that is so frustrating.

The Art of the Matter

I don't even know anymore.

Is there any glimmer of talent on here? Am I missing it or are the challenges just so lame that they aren't able to shine?

I don't know if I liked any of the designs from the challenge. I guess I'm comparing it to Season 4, when they did an avant garde challenge, there was some amazing things that came down that runway. sigh. The judges aren't helping. I never know if someone is going to be in the top or bottom until Heidi announces it.

For some reason they absolutely gushed over Mr. Meanie himself Josh's look:

I'm sorry, judges, you like orange and brown together or you hate it? Because if you thought Fallene's look was too Fall pumpkin for you, what's your reasoning on this? I hate this look from the netting on her head and hideous lipstick down to her brown boots that go with her tree trunk skirt. Just no.

And don't get me started on him playing the mom card after being a total douchebag the week before.

Anthony Ryan won the challenge, but not because the guest judge, Kenneth Kole

thought he was the best:

I can see how the judges would like this look, it flowed and looked pretty great when it first walked out onto the runway. I love her hair and overall look together. However, when this dress just stood there on the runway it looked just as bad a craft project as most of them did. The judges seemed to like the looks that had the absolute most literal interpretation of their painting.

Oh honey. This is a cry for help. Is there some reason he heard avant garde look and made a mental patient look? Why can I see her g-string? Why does she have that hair? Why does he do the weird foldy beige looks?

I can't get past his changing accent and sullen looks he puts down the runway. This could have been an out; Olivier had the happiest painting and ended up making the saddest look of all.

Say what you will about Bert's look: shapes gone crazy, pregnancy chic, some nightmare I had in the 80's come to life. However, this is a look

you can't stop looking at and was memorable right? Wrong era for avant garde in 2011, but he did know at least what he was doing, and that was playing with silhouette and perceived fashion. Yes he fell short, but he was on the right track.

Other people I thought that were almost there and just needed a little more something something or some better

styling:

Victor

Anya

Laura

Eh....failed Gaga wannabe? Etsy fashion? I didn't think of Becky as boring, but this is boring.

Oh Josh C.....

Everyone thought you had the most amazing painting and artistically yes, it was. However you were damned if you did and damned if you didn't. Had you made this more wolf-like, it would have been called costumey. Since you didn't they were bored and called it a waitress dominatrix look. It was Josh's first and last time at Mood. Was he brought back to be a martyr so that precious Olivier could stay? Sorry Josh, we hardly knew ya....twice. Too bad you didn't go out as a full on wolf. Awwwwwooooo to you Josh.

Off to the Track

This may turn into a ranting post, so forgive me in advance, or join me! This was some heavy crack smoking by the judges, but mostly by the producers.

Where to begin?

Exhibit A:

"DEE-SIGNAAAAAHS! It's the all terrible team challenge time! I will make you bicker, complain, backstab and hate your team mates. I will force you to 'throw one of them under the bus'. I will pick a great way to choose the team captains! Not by pitching an idea to me and choosing the best ideas, no not even by chance from Tim's velvet sack of wonder. No no let's have you run around a track! That way the most physically fit designer will be in charge! Watch out Bert, don't have a heart attack now!"

Seriously? I just can't. How does this make any sense and how is it fair? How is it even entertaining?














"I fell down like a bitch" Ok Olivier, you got me there, that turned an embarrassing situation into a cute and funny one. Well played!
(Do you think he knew the guy who would help him was going to be a hottie?)



Exhibit B:

Cecilia. Ok, maybe that wasn't the producers, and then again was it? Maybe Cecilia wanted to go home on Episode 4 and they didn't want her to save Julie, because they knew Julie was not as exciting of a character, making Cecilia even more bummed and thus giving us more drama with Exhibit C.




P.S. Ok yes, I'm sure there is a lot of pressure on this show, but jesus couldn't you just get kicked off with dignity, knowing that other designers missed out on this opportunity that you don't want to fight that hard for? Seems a little selfish.


Exhibit C:
Josh C. is back! Well, good for you.

Forget that Julie was the last designer kicked off and Cecilia has just left and really should have said something LAST WEEK on the runway to save her. The natural replacement to Cecilia leaving would be Julie.

Forget that Josh C. was Auf'd in Episode 2, so he didn't have to design for 2(!) challenges(!)

Forget that in the past when they've brought back past designers, they made them W-I-N the current challenge just to stay on, or they were auf'd yet again.

Yes, forget all that fair stuff, let's let Viktor--who came in 4th place (or last of the captains)--choose who to bring back to the show and possibly win Project Runway.

Oh but welcome back Josh C., great to have you back.



Exhibit D:

As in Das Klum is crazy.

"Deeeesignahs!? I am going to have you design for New Balance, because why not? I'm busy having lots of kids and humiliating up and coming designahs. Oh and yes you can design whatever you want* to go with these suede or denim sneakers!"


*sure make a dress, but then later I'm going to ask how the model would work out in those clothes.

"You have 8 hours to do this, no wait 13 hours to design. Whatever makes you more sleep deprived for the runway!!!!"



(Nice sneakers Tim)


Exhibit E:

Group challenges. They exist as pure torture. Add to the already unfair way to select the team captains, the further humiliation of choosing the teams like it's a sport, bringing back someone random selected by one of the captains, add vague and conflicting design parameters and then throw in: Cranky Old Guy, Pissy Queens, Dowdy Doodie, Can't Sew Beauty Queen, a couple of cliques and presto, you have a Reality Show full of Drama instead of a beloved design show you used to get a kick out of because you actually cared for some of the characters and wanted them to succeed. That's what has been missing so far this season. Someone to root for. Sure they have the sad stories, well there's always going to be some of those. Where's our Sweet Pea? Where's our Mondo and whatever happened to Andrae???


Exhibit F:
As in WTF

















Josh M. is one savvy son of a bitch. He chose Anya for her fashion sense and the fact the judges LUV HUH and then chooses Becky who everyone knows can sew like a mutha. Josh assumes he will win with those elements and his superb design skills. However, he bullies Becky in the process and totally uses her. Anya, from what I gather, designed this and I'm sure Becky sewed it, but somehow Josh wins??? His look was actually a better one out of their group and I don't think Becky should be completely blamed for her design being sub par.

And why the hey did we need a second winner? There may have been some times in the past when that would have been prudent, maybe even welcomed. This was not that time. The producers are hitting the good stuff that's for sure. Besides the fact that he bullied and manipulated the team and the judges, the three looks he had were not the most cohesive. WTF


Exhibit G:

Step away from this fabric!

Danielle dear, how many times have you used this same fabric? And why did your team leader let you buy it? For a pop of color on 'One' of the looks? It doesn't make sense. On top of that, you were already called out on a very similar color and shaped top, so you decided to try again? Oh honey....












3 Strikes and you are Out



















If it's any consolation to you, even after all that, yours was not even the worst of the day:


This, this is just sad all around. Not even replacing those sad sneakers with sassy heels and washing that poor girl's hair would save this look. It is so strangely baggy and bunched up. Congratulations to Anthony Ryan, who made a look tight and baggy all at the same time.











And this is where we come to the part of the show that has gone back and forth since it started.


Is it really so simple as "One day you are Eeen (In) and one day you are Owwut (Out)"? It has seemed in some cases, they knew a designer that had either done great looks in the past or seems to have great potential and they will save them even if their look deserved the Auf.

This episode Nina and Michael basically said it out loud for us all to finally hear! To which Heidi clinged to her tagline desperately and tried to bring it back to getting rid of the designer that had the worst design of that challenge. Listen, I'm not saying I disagree with either side. It would just be helpful if they picked one way or the other instead of going back and forth. I guess thems the breaks when you are on TV.

Danielle was really a borderline good designer and she certainly wasn't going to provide enough drama with the show, along with Cecilia and Julie, they were never given a fair chance to begin with. She was going to get kicked off soon anyway. Does that justify the horrendous look Anthony Ryan did just because we know he has more overall talent and will most likely make it to the end?

One of the most uncomfortable episodes I have ever seen from this show. Heidi I am ashamed of you.

What do you think? Would you have kicked off Danielle or Anthony?