Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Off to the Track

This may turn into a ranting post, so forgive me in advance, or join me! This was some heavy crack smoking by the judges, but mostly by the producers.

Where to begin?

Exhibit A:

"DEE-SIGNAAAAAHS! It's the all terrible team challenge time! I will make you bicker, complain, backstab and hate your team mates. I will force you to 'throw one of them under the bus'. I will pick a great way to choose the team captains! Not by pitching an idea to me and choosing the best ideas, no not even by chance from Tim's velvet sack of wonder. No no let's have you run around a track! That way the most physically fit designer will be in charge! Watch out Bert, don't have a heart attack now!"

Seriously? I just can't. How does this make any sense and how is it fair? How is it even entertaining?

"I fell down like a bitch" Ok Olivier, you got me there, that turned an embarrassing situation into a cute and funny one. Well played!
(Do you think he knew the guy who would help him was going to be a hottie?)

Exhibit B:

Cecilia. Ok, maybe that wasn't the producers, and then again was it? Maybe Cecilia wanted to go home on Episode 4 and they didn't want her to save Julie, because they knew Julie was not as exciting of a character, making Cecilia even more bummed and thus giving us more drama with Exhibit C.

P.S. Ok yes, I'm sure there is a lot of pressure on this show, but jesus couldn't you just get kicked off with dignity, knowing that other designers missed out on this opportunity that you don't want to fight that hard for? Seems a little selfish.

Exhibit C:
Josh C. is back! Well, good for you.

Forget that Julie was the last designer kicked off and Cecilia has just left and really should have said something LAST WEEK on the runway to save her. The natural replacement to Cecilia leaving would be Julie.

Forget that Josh C. was Auf'd in Episode 2, so he didn't have to design for 2(!) challenges(!)

Forget that in the past when they've brought back past designers, they made them W-I-N the current challenge just to stay on, or they were auf'd yet again.

Yes, forget all that fair stuff, let's let Viktor--who came in 4th place (or last of the captains)--choose who to bring back to the show and possibly win Project Runway.

Oh but welcome back Josh C., great to have you back.

Exhibit D:

As in Das Klum is crazy.

"Deeeesignahs!? I am going to have you design for New Balance, because why not? I'm busy having lots of kids and humiliating up and coming designahs. Oh and yes you can design whatever you want* to go with these suede or denim sneakers!"

*sure make a dress, but then later I'm going to ask how the model would work out in those clothes.

"You have 8 hours to do this, no wait 13 hours to design. Whatever makes you more sleep deprived for the runway!!!!"

(Nice sneakers Tim)

Exhibit E:

Group challenges. They exist as pure torture. Add to the already unfair way to select the team captains, the further humiliation of choosing the teams like it's a sport, bringing back someone random selected by one of the captains, add vague and conflicting design parameters and then throw in: Cranky Old Guy, Pissy Queens, Dowdy Doodie, Can't Sew Beauty Queen, a couple of cliques and presto, you have a Reality Show full of Drama instead of a beloved design show you used to get a kick out of because you actually cared for some of the characters and wanted them to succeed. That's what has been missing so far this season. Someone to root for. Sure they have the sad stories, well there's always going to be some of those. Where's our Sweet Pea? Where's our Mondo and whatever happened to Andrae???

Exhibit F:
As in WTF

Josh M. is one savvy son of a bitch. He chose Anya for her fashion sense and the fact the judges LUV HUH and then chooses Becky who everyone knows can sew like a mutha. Josh assumes he will win with those elements and his superb design skills. However, he bullies Becky in the process and totally uses her. Anya, from what I gather, designed this and I'm sure Becky sewed it, but somehow Josh wins??? His look was actually a better one out of their group and I don't think Becky should be completely blamed for her design being sub par.

And why the hey did we need a second winner? There may have been some times in the past when that would have been prudent, maybe even welcomed. This was not that time. The producers are hitting the good stuff that's for sure. Besides the fact that he bullied and manipulated the team and the judges, the three looks he had were not the most cohesive. WTF

Exhibit G:

Step away from this fabric!

Danielle dear, how many times have you used this same fabric? And why did your team leader let you buy it? For a pop of color on 'One' of the looks? It doesn't make sense. On top of that, you were already called out on a very similar color and shaped top, so you decided to try again? Oh honey....

3 Strikes and you are Out

If it's any consolation to you, even after all that, yours was not even the worst of the day:

This, this is just sad all around. Not even replacing those sad sneakers with sassy heels and washing that poor girl's hair would save this look. It is so strangely baggy and bunched up. Congratulations to Anthony Ryan, who made a look tight and baggy all at the same time.

And this is where we come to the part of the show that has gone back and forth since it started.

Is it really so simple as "One day you are Eeen (In) and one day you are Owwut (Out)"? It has seemed in some cases, they knew a designer that had either done great looks in the past or seems to have great potential and they will save them even if their look deserved the Auf.

This episode Nina and Michael basically said it out loud for us all to finally hear! To which Heidi clinged to her tagline desperately and tried to bring it back to getting rid of the designer that had the worst design of that challenge. Listen, I'm not saying I disagree with either side. It would just be helpful if they picked one way or the other instead of going back and forth. I guess thems the breaks when you are on TV.

Danielle was really a borderline good designer and she certainly wasn't going to provide enough drama with the show, along with Cecilia and Julie, they were never given a fair chance to begin with. She was going to get kicked off soon anyway. Does that justify the horrendous look Anthony Ryan did just because we know he has more overall talent and will most likely make it to the end?

One of the most uncomfortable episodes I have ever seen from this show. Heidi I am ashamed of you.

What do you think? Would you have kicked off Danielle or Anthony?

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